Relationship advice for seniors...
baby-boomers...
adults in general, I guess...

Garry's thoughts on relationship advice.

Senior relationships seem to be easier than the chaotic relationships of my earlier life. Of course, in my case, it could be poor memory and/or sublimation!

How about you?

How’s your life progressed in the relationship categories of

  1. Self?
  2. Social?
  3. Context?
  4. Spiritual?

Those are the four categories of relationships that I can bend my mind around.


RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:
#1 SELF

finding the selfHow well you are able to
Explore your "self" until you
Understand your "self" then
Act to make changes
determines how successful you will be in this MOST IMPORTANT aspect of gaining control of your life!

Being the left-brain bloke that I am, I further break down SELF into…

  • Living
  • Loving
  • Learning
  • Laboring

Living: first aspect
BEING

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • your life mission?
  • the why of your life?
  • recharged your self-esteem?

Living: second aspect
CONGRUENCE

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • described your worldview?
  • described your belief system?
  • identified and cleared up any conflicts?
  • developed a Code of Conduct?
    [especially around enhancing nurturing relationships, and ending toxic ones]

Living: third aspect
HAPPINESS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • forgiven those who harmed you?
  • identified, accepted, and integrated your shadow side?

Living: fourth aspect
HEALTH

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?


Loving: first aspect
DATING

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified the characteristics of a good date?
  • evaluated these for reality?

more about senior dating

Loving: second aspect
SEX

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified the type of sex that you would be comfortable with?
  • identified your strengths and weaknesses around the sex act?

more about senior sex

Loving: third aspect
ROMANTIC

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified what you mean when you say “love”?
  • identified what makes you fall out of love?
  • identified what is "toxic" love?

more about toxic love

Loving: fourth aspect
NURTURING
[the ultimate level of Loving relationships]

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified how a nurturing relationship is superior to a romantic one?

Learning: first aspect
FORMAL

Learning: second aspect
INFORMAL

Learning: third aspect
CHANCE

I'm mostly abandoning these at present.

One day, I'll think more about Learning and Laboring, and write more.

Of course, I am always happy to have your input here!

Laboring: first aspect
VOLUNTEER

Laboring: second aspect
EARNING


RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:
#2 SOCIAL

socialYour social relationships are those you have with other humans.
If you relate poorly to your social relationships... you will
"lead a life of quiet desperation"
Henry David Thoreau

  • alone
  • lonely
  • sad
  • unfulfilled

SOCIAL has the following categories…

  • Family
  • Romantic
  • Friends
  • Colleagues
  • Partnerships
  • Memberships

Social: first aspect
FAMILY

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • what role[s] do you play in your overall family?
  • have you identified the skills and knowledge you need to carry out these roles?
  • how can you evaluate how well you are doing?

Social: second aspect
ROMANTIC
[
see the SELF discussion]

Social: third aspect
FRIENDS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified any toxic friends you have?
  • developed a strategy to negate that toxicity?
  • rejected them as friends?

Social: fourth aspect
COLLEAGUES

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified any toxic colleagues you have?
  • developed a strategy to negate that toxicity?

Social: fifth aspect
PARTNERSHIPS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified any toxic partnerships you have?
  • developed a strategy to negate that toxicity?
  • closed down partnership?

Social: sixth aspect
MEMBERSHIPS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified any toxic groups you belong to?
  • developed a strategy to negate that toxicity?
  • removed yourself from that group

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:
#3 CONTEXT

contextYour context relationships are those you have with with the living, non-human inhabitants of this planet.
If you relate poorly to your CONTEXT relationships...
you will be a toxic influence...
and non-nurturing...

CONTEXT has the following categories…

  • home
  • community
  • world

Context: first aspect
HOME

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written them down?

  • identified behaviors [yours and others in the home] that enhance your home life?
  • identified behaviors [yours and others in the home] that are detrimental to your home life?

Context: second aspect
COMMUNITY

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified ways and means that you can do to enhance your community?

Context: third aspect
WORLD
[= Mother Earth = Gaia]

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified ways and means that you can do to show your love and stewardship for Mother Earth?

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:
#4 SPIRITUAL

spiritualYour spiritual relationships are the most complex, and least understood of all.
If you interact poorly with your SPIRITUAL side... you will not attain the full humanity which is possible for you.

SPIRITUAL has the following categories…

  • worldview
  • beliefs
  • rituals

Spiritual: first aspect
WORLDVIEW

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified what you consider to be the reality of the Universe?

Spiritual: second aspect
BELIEFS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified the specifics of your belief system?

Spiritual: third aspect
RITUALS

Have you, specifically, thought through the following… preferably written it down?

  • identified positive milestones in your family, in your life, in your context where a shared ritual, celebrating those milestones, would be powerful?

more on spiritual



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